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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Silly girls are scared about the unknown, the others are just too curious to stop opening wrapped boxes

What would you do if somebody brought a box and told you not to open it? Hm, difficult to answer. If Master said so, ok, easy, I’d obey, would still be left curious and would ask later on, what the box contained. But if anybody else told me not to open that box … that’s the tricky bit. Unless they told me there’d be an immediate threat of life, I probably would shake it, weigh it, try to guess what is in it, and maybe open the box, unless I’d have the feeling that I would seriously breach somebody’s trust, or let somebody down, which I would not do. But I really love surprises, preferably the nice ones.

Being gullible

I think, if you know answers to questions like these, you might know yourself well, or even better, you might know what other people are like. There is no bragging intended here from my side, because I am usually awfully bad at such things. The example with the box was taken out of reality, I have faced this situation and therefore I just recounted my actions then, but otherwise, you could tell me that Pinocchio, The Wizard of Oz or any others are not liars, Jack the Ripper was just a nice guy and so on. I guess I would believe most of it, typical case of being gullible, ok. What makes matters worse is that I for one need a lot of time to find out what people are like in general, until the penny has dropped, whether they are genuinely friendly characters or not. That's where my hubby (a.k.a. Master) and friends (-> real friends ->catastrophy-hardened and reliable) help me to sort things out.

What to look out for

What I should look out for are traits like reliability, honesty, whether this person is really trustworthy, is that one tolerant, fair, does he/she care for others? Is the person in question honestly compassionate? Does that one have a lot of empathy and is considerate?  Even if so, how do I know if it really is genuine? Sometimes it is just a matter of time, till even I do see what kind of character someone is. In the past, I have only had one really terrible encounter with another woman who apparently was nice and I believed that, took her behaviour for the truth. The truth was, that she had tried to get me kicked out of my job then (Duh, I have not always been a housewife!) and never said an unfriendly word into my direction. That the truth came out, was just one of my friends' achievements, because I would not have believed that someone who had treated me nicely could be such an evil character. I am still puzzled about this incident, though it is long over and its only purpose now is to serve as an example, how difficult it can be to see what someone is like.

Shades of grey :)

So, here we are, my conclusion so far is: if I am going to have a look at somebody's character, I need a lot of time, to find them out. My friends and Master need about one glance only, and then they are informed and can tell about someone. Since I don't believe that I am the only one with such a problem of seeing everything through rose-coloured glasses, there are probably at least two groups of people: those who can discern the good ones from the bad ones quickly and those who cannot (I don't like black and white as colours too much, but in developing my idea thinking in black and white terms is easier, for the moment). If there are those two groups, there are probably many others who can discern some traits quicker and others slower, too (the grey ones).

The wrapped box

What could you do to help you  find out about someone quicker? I love spending time with people, if they are  friendly ones, that is. Nevertheless,  after one evening, some of my friends can tell so much about others that they just leave me flabbergasted. I would love to have that ability, and whatever I do, I don't have the feeling that my way of looking at others has improved over the years, I just have learned to listen to those I know I can trust. If strangers behave nice, I consider them nice. On the one hand it is annoying, but on the other hand I don't mind too much, because I don't have the feeling that I could change it. I would just go on believing that even the worst culprit must be nice, if given the chance. I think even if told that someone was an infamous liar and whatever, if anybody, I would be the one who would still spend time with that one. My great luck in such moments are my Master and our friends who have always been there in times of need. As you can see, I would always opt for opening the wrapped box, even if it was a smelly one.


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